Thursday, December 26, 2002

Allright, the BIG DAY is just a couple of days away and hopefully, all will be set by then. Because now, it still ISN'T! Arrggh! I just finalized a CD of music that will be played on the ceremony itself. We decided to ditch the choir because we can't deal with that added detail now and plus, we've been slowly taking out expenses that we really don't really need. I'm STILL doing the souvenir which will hopefully be a surprise to those who will be attending. Everybody says its a nice idea so I'm really excited about being done with it and having people see it.

Really, I'm not nervous at all about being married to Ilyn. If I can marry her right now, I would, it's not what worries me. What makes me nervous is the thought that something might screw up during the ceremony or the reception, brought about by some minor detail we missed and overlooked. I'm really trying hard to see it doesn't happen. See the kind of thing one has to put up with because society demands certain things from you? People are already pissed for some reason or another and my thoughts on this is this: It's about ME and ILYN. It's the day WE get married. It's OUR occasion, OUR happening, baby. Certain formalities and societal conventions tend to blur this fact and make it more about OTHER PEOPLE than what this is all about: ME and ILYN.

It's the "OLD WOMEN" syndrome once again. Just because old women say so, we gotta do it. And that just sucks. Me and Ilyn don't want a conventional wedding, but traditionalists have been beating us down. Everyone from the photographer, to the barong fabric seller, to the tailor, etc, they have been telling us how things SHOULD be instead of how WE want it to be. I can't believe how narrowminded people can be in times like this, but its something one has to put up with for being a "member" of society.

Me and Ilyn have made the best of it though. Everything is still traditional, as much as we would wish otherwise, but its all right. Ganun e. We're creating our own photo album, our own guest book, our own unique souvenirs and our own unique hand made invitations. We really work well together personally and creatively. I really think this is the start, or rather, a continuation and an affirmation of a beautiful relationship. I think 2003 will be a great year. And I'm sure it will get better each year after that. :):):)