Wednesday, June 26, 2002


I've lost moderation control of my message board! Oh man! I got the forum last February I think, and because I created it via DelphiForums, I had control over it. I can delete messages. I can edit messages. I can ban people. I can customize the appearance. I can post images. As far as I'm concerned, I'm GOD on my message board! No longer! Delphi has long been telling subscribers that they will start charging for their service. A free option will remain, but most of the features a subscriber used to enjoy will no longer be there. Forum owners will lose control over their message boards. Which was what happened to me. AAARRGHH!

Tuesday, June 25, 2002

Larry Alcala 1927-2002

I guess I'll take time out of my petty problems and ridiculous selfish rants to give tribute to one remarkable artist. I grew up with Larry's strips on newspapers and magazines, specially "Asiong Aksaya", "Siopaoman", and "Slice of Life". His strips were humorous, insightful, and so remarkably Filipino. Thanks Larry for all the jokes, art and stories! You will be missed. I'm here working in comics in part because of the inspiration your work has had on me. Thanks!

Monday, June 24, 2002

It Was Horrible

I read the book Hiroshima by John Hersey which I got from Booksale. It's an old 1980 edition of the book and must have gone through numerous printings. It's tells of the story of several survivors of the explosion of the Atomic Bomb over Hiroshima in 1945, what they were doing before and after the disaster. Initially coming out as a series of articles in the New York Times, it eventually came out as a compiled book in 1946.

It's a terribly moving book at first reading, and after you feel anger at the people and circumstances that led to its conclusion. How can a nation kill 100 thousand innocent lives of another nation? It's horrible, unspeakable. Since the book was written a year after the bombing, the author and the survivors as well, have no inkling that their troubles have just begun. Little do they know that they and their offspring will forever be marked by the devastating effects of radiation. Are these bombers no better than terrorists who strap bombs to themselves and kill innocent people for what they believe in?

It is true that the bomb, and the one at Nagasaki was probably what ended the war, but did have to cost the lives of hundreds of thousands of innocent lives? Who's to say that the war would have ended anyway without them? Japan certain was already on the losing side by that time. Her allies Germany and Italy had already fallen, how could it have managed to hang on? I think there's no justification for it. Good guys must always find a way. And good guys are what Americans supposed to have been in WW2 right?

Anyway, I was thinking about the book and the people chronicled in the stories when I was buying lunch today at a local open air fast food place in town. There were really no walls in the joint and one can move freely in and out to the sidewalk and back. Well I was seated right next to the sidewalk with my back to the road. I was thinking what it would be like if such an Atomic Bomb were detonated right on top of San Pablo City. What would happen to this fastfood? To all these people rushing about. Where would I go in case I survive it? Just then, I heard the people in the fast food place screaming at something happening on the road. I turned around to see that a cat had just been run over by a jeep. The cat wasn't killed, but it was writhing horribly, its hind legs crushed. It was trying to scream but no sound was coming out. It was terrible, the pain it must be feeling. Before I could do anything, help it or something, another jeep came rolling right on top of the cat's head. I immediately looked away and closed my eyes, but I can't shut out the screams of the people around me. It was horrible. Really horrible. It really bothers me still right up to this writing. I can't get it out of my mind.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

Partial Annular Solar Eclipse

Absolutely cool! I'm watching it right now and it never fails to amaze me. I've got a welding glass that allows me to look at it safely. I've never seen and experienced a totality before, and I'm not sure that I will. The only way for me to see a totality is if I go chase after one years down the road.

This reminds me of a strange story back in college. I remember 2 partial solar eclipses that occurred for the duration of my college years. In the first occurence, I brought a bunch of negatives with me to class so I could show the eclipse to my classmates, many of them weren't aware that one was going on. All of them of course, were amazed, except one. I gave the bunch of negatives to my friend and asked her to look at the sun through them. She looked, paused for a moment and looked at me with what I could consider 'fear' in her eyes. She said, "How did you do that?" And she was serious too! I couldn't believe it. I explained to her that it was an eclipse and that it naturally happens once in a while. That I know when it will happen because scientists are able to compute when one happens by measuring the rotation of the earth, sun and moon. It didn't seem to ease her fears about it though.

Monday, June 10, 2002

What not to do when DRUNK

A month of so ago I was interviewed by the Manila Standard about the state of local comic books. Chong the interviewer and I met at Shakey's Robinson's Malate and had a few drinks. Well, actually I only had maybe 2, or 3? mugs of draft beer. Nothing too hard than that, but well, I haven't drank in a LOOONG time and my tolerance for alcohol has dropped way down. So by the end of the first mug, I was hit really hard. And by the 3rd glass, I was blabbering away and I really don't remember what the hell I was talking about. I must have ranted like crazy because I definitely remember a slightly horrified look to the writer's face when we said goodbye. So I was a bit wary about the article. The writer had sent me a text message that it was out, but I didn't get it so I had no idea it had been out until a few days ago, three weeks after the interview was out. AAARGH! Anybody read it?

A friend of mine will be launching a brand new site about the Filipino indie scene, appropriately enough, on June 12. I don't know exactly what's going to be in it, but I'm pretty sure it would be really cool. Nothing there yet but a form to fill out to join the mailing list, but come back June 12 for the launch!

Something Strange

I heard something strange last night. I was watching CSI on AXN last night at around 9pm when I suddenly heard this loud beeping from a jeepney maybe a street or two away. It was so loud and persistent that it started to drove me crazy and mad. Mad because I wasn't able to concentrate on the show. And the damned beeping went on for another 10 or 15 mintues. By the end of that 15 minutes I was really on the edge and I was ready to go up to the roof and scream bloody murder. "What the fuck are you doing you moron? Why they fuck don't you just fucking go and knock on the fucking door or talk to whoever it is I don't fucking care just fucking lay off the God damned beeping!!" Just then I heard 5 gunshots in quick succession. I turned down the volume of the TV to listen to what was happening, but I didn't hear anything anymore. The beeping stopped. Did the guy in the jeep shoot the guy he was beeping at or vice versa? Or did an irate guy annoyed at the beeping shoot at the driver? I have no idea. I'll try to find out.

Sunday, June 09, 2002

Don't mind me, just ranting.

I may not talk about it much here, but I think about the Abu Sayyaf situation in the south a lot. And I think it's time I did say something about it here, in the light of recent events. I have to say that I'm both happy and disappointed at what happened. Happy that Gracia Burnham is alive, sad that Martin and Deborah are dead, happy that some Abu Sayyaf are dead, disappointed that not all of them are. I want take Abu Sabaya's big gun, shove it down his God damned throat and pump it full of fucking bullets. You're nothing but a gutless coward. You think that gun makes you a man? You fucking idiot. That gun makes you nothing. When you die and you think your God will congratulate you? Stupid. I'd love to see your face when your God sends you to HELL.

A couple of weeks ago, a child was held hostage by an addict. He had a footlong knife pointed right into the side of the boy while fully armed policemen surrounded them totally helpless. You could see many MANY times opportunities where the addict pointed the knife elsewhere, a time when a sharpshooter could have taken the fucker out. But they just stood there like idiots, waiting for something I don't know what the fuck what. The kid was crying and crying calling for his mom while his mom, God knows what she must have felt at the time, couldn't do anything but call at him back. When the addict started to stab the kid, the police opened fire, peppering both addict and boy to shreds. During the autopsy, it was found that the kid had 5 bullet wounds, and one straight to the heart which had killed him. What fucking idiots those fucking police were. You don't want to think badly about your own law enforcement, but sometimes you are forced to by no less than the police themselves. You idiots. You morons.

And to you fucking bleeding hearts who believe addicts are victims who shouldn't be punished, you're out of your fucking minds. It's because of idiots like YOU that addicts can victimize innocent people with impunity. It's because of YOU that this world is NOT a better place to live in. These "addicts" KNOW that taking drugs is BAD. And they KNOW that under its influence, they can do BAD things. They're CRIMINALS, pure and fucking simple. Victims my ASS. They should be shot on sight.

Thursday, June 06, 2002

New Bruce Springsteen and E Street Band Album!!

Ok, I better get it out of the way first. I'm a HUGE Bruce Springsteen fan. I have been ever since I heard Born To Run nearly 20 years ago. Likes in music come and go, but my like in this guy's music never goes away. I have all his CDs, even a couple of bootleg Concert CDs. I almost saw him and the band perform in Detroit in 1999. I had a ticket and I already booked my hotel but the concert was postponed and I spent the day in Detroit just walking and eating chili. I always wanted to see them live because I hear that's where Bruce really comes alive. I'm still hoping.

The very last true Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band studio album was Born in the USA back in 1984. Sure the band appeared in Tunnel of Love but they were used sparingly and sparsely. Bruce's new album, "The Rising" is the very first true studio album from these guys in 18 years! And I for one am totally excited. I can't wait!!

From CNN:
Springsteen releasing new album in July
First record with full E Street band since '84
June 3, 2002 Posted: 1:32 PM EDT (1732 GMT)

NEW YORK (AP) -- After releasing just three studio albums in the past decade, rocker Bruce Springsteen finished his latest record in eight weeks.

He was as surprised as anybody.

"I woke up one morning, and I had a record," Springsteen joked about his new album, "The Rising," due in stores July 30.

"The Rising" will be Springsteen's first studio rock album since 1992, and his first effort with the full E Street Band since 1984.

For the rest of the article...

Today I'm gonna do something that I've never done on my blog before. Just start writing, bahala na and just write whatever comes to mind. Yeah, I need to be drawing right now, but I'm sorta down and I just want to write something, anything.

I should be in Manila now, but since my mom was in the hospital (she was just released and is now resting at home), I hung around. I'll go back to Manila tomorrow and get more work. I walked out earlier today as I do often in the mornings whether I'm in San Pablo or Manila. I just like to walk, clear my head, and do some muscle stretching and sweating along the way. I mostly walk to a nearby lake and go around it. It's not that large a lake, just around 2.6 kilometers circumference.

I want to run around it but I'm worried about getting bit by a dog. I was walking around there one time and this dog started following me. And pretty soon, this dog started barking at me. And pretty soon, this dog was shoving it's snout on my leg, salivating and barking like crazy. It could have bitten me right there. Meanwhile, the owner just look at her dog dumfounded. If I was a little pissed off and down during that time, I would have kicked this dog's teeth in. What the hell, I'm going to run it. As soon as I buy some nice running shoes. The one I have now is falling apart and I can't use it anymore to run. But I am using it for the Wasted movie. I expect I'll be panting and grasping for breath on the first 100 meters alone. But I feel I gotta do it. I'm making it a goal to run around that lake continuously until I make it all around.

Ok, DVDs then! I got a couple of new DVDs over the past couple of weeks. I got a couple for my girlfriend, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone and Legend Ultimate Edition. Personally, I got myself Plan 9 From Outer Space, the one with the 2 hour documentary on the life of its director, Edward D. Wood Jr., and From Hell. I want to know what justification they had for making the movie the way it was. Yeah, I know you can't translate a book into the movie word for word, yeah, yeah, I know that I'm NOT stupid. But if you can't even be faithful to the essence of the book, then why fucking bother? This story is about Dr. William Gull and why he was the way he was. This was NOT a story about Fred fucking Abberline.

Oh man, this is not working. I'm logging off...

Monday, June 03, 2002


My mom fell sick over the weekend and we had to take her to hospital earlier today. Nothing really serious, but it was bad enough that we had to take her there. I was supposed to spend the week in Manila this week, but I'll be staying here in San Pablo to look after her half of the time. It's been quite stressful now this past couple of weeks. Deadline here, deadline there, worried sick for my mom. Things are never really easy I guess so I really just have to work through it and do the best I can. Grin and bear it they say. I can bear it sure, but I'm not sure if I can grin in the face of it.

Sunday, June 02, 2002

My God, I'm so tired.

Last week was really difficult to get through. Shooting Wasted was far more difficult than I had expected. I had always wanted to act, but it was something I did not show outward attention to. It was just something I kept to myself. Now that I'm there, doing it, man, it's really tough. I'm not really doing much physically but it's really emotionally draining, very much like the time I first wrote and drew Wasted. Everytime I finished an episode, I was so emotionally drained that I felt so weak and fell sick. I also finished inking an X-Men drawing over Leinil for Wizard, and I'm currently drawing The Yellow Shawl. I'm also starting inking an issue of High Roads with a really tight deadline.

Last night I arrived from Manila so tired that I wasn't able to check my email, messages that have been building up for the past week. I slept for nearly 10 hours straight. And tomorrow I have to leave for Manila AGAIN, to deliver some props for the movie, and to pick up more pages from Leinil. And my dreams don't leave me alone either. Last night I dreamed I had been beating up my dog (which I don't do) and I had beat her so hard that her eye fell out. I tried to put it back but I couldn't. When I woke up I rushed to my dog to see if she was OK. She was, and I was so happy I hugged her really hard.

I should be working today, but I still feel very tired that I'm deciding to just take it easy before I plunge back to work tomorrow. Once this blog entry is done, it's back to bed for me.

I did watch a couple of movies last week. Spiderman and Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, momentarily breaking away from work. They were good diversions. I had fun watching and enjoyed them a lot. They won't make my list of top favorite movies though.